my big beautiful one-bedroomed dream was shattered last night.  I was told I'd have to move apartments.  "oh."  says I "when?".

of course the answer was "now."

so,  I had to get all my stuff together and take everything down the hallway to the apartment one door down on the other side of the corridor.  I have a lot of stuff,  so even the small journey took a few trips,  especially combined with all my cleaning products,  my dirty laundry,  and the contents of my fridge.

which was only when I realized that the new apartment didn't have a fridge.  or a washing machine.

by this point,  a group of people had gathered together in my new apartment - miss liu,  the shrill woman who's in charge of accommodation,  my boss andy and a woman from my office called linda,  merte,  some random other chinese people (all doing what chinese people tend to do when stuff needs doing - standing about and talking chinese loudly (and shrilly in the shrill woman's case) and not really doing anything that needs to be done)),  and I could feel myself losing the plot.

"eh,  where's the fridge?"  I asked the shrill woman,  trying to keep all the dairy stuff that took me an eon to find gathered up in my arms.  "NO FRIDGE!  WE BUY A NEW ONE!"  she screeched.  "and the washing machine?"  I said,  pointing at the pile of sweaty laundry.  "NO MACHINE!  WE BUY A NEW ONE!"  was the reply to that too.

so my veins were popping out my temples,  and I was about to lose the rag - and in a shocking show of sensitivity and compassion,  the shrill woman placed a hand on my shoulder and said "BUT GOOD APATMENT!  GOT TWO TOILET!"  - and let me into the bathroom.

I should add here,  that because this is a two bedroom apartment and I am one person,  I got to chose which bedroom I wanted - the other teacher is either japanese and arriving 'today',  or american and arriving in 'no-wemburr',  depending on who you believe or listen to.  I - naturally - picked the bigger room.  what I hadn't noticed was a sign saying 'A' on the bedroom door.

"SEE!  YOU BEDROOM A!  YOU USE TOILET A!"  said the shrill woman,  pushing me into the bathroom.

so what they've done is put two toilets into the same room,  which is also the same room as the shower.  the toilets have partitions in the same style that you'd get in a bar - crappy plywood stalls.  as compensation for having a smaller bedroom,  person B gets the bigger toilet cubicle.  in order to make space for the second toilet,  they've shifted the shower into the corner where the sink would've been,  and put the sink out into the hallway.  thus cementing my suspicion that if something can be done in a slightly stupid and ridiculous way,  the chinese will do it.  as if I'm gonna go in and take a dump if my flatmate's in the toilet too!  or even worse,  go in for a shower while he's taking a dump.  it really makes no sense.

and it was only after all the chinese people cleared out my flat that I realized I'd missed the canteen for dinner.  but all was not lost - I had a big pot of dried noodles with me - just add boiling water.  which led onto another problem - there was no kettle.  so they made me leave an apartment which had a kettle,  a washing machine,  a fridge and even a toaster to go to an apartment which had none of these things for no reason at all.  I ended up having to boil water in a wok on a hotplate to have noodles and tea (and when I say boil,  I mean BOIL - there was a major earthquake in 1976 in tangshan - thousands of people died,  and according to someone I spoke to they threw all the bodies into a pit,  a pit which the water that comes through the taps happens to go through.  I believe it.).

then today was just boring.  office at 8,  lunch at 12 (I think I've finally cracked the canteen ladies into giving me smaller portions),  office at 2,  finish at 6.  still no classes organized,  or idea of when they'll even begin.  

and then tonight's been mega boring - merte went to her bed at 7,  the creepy australian is nowhere to be seen.  I've hardly moved off my bed since I got in.  dull dull dull.

my boss andy bought me a present - a kids' toy computer that speaks to you in mandarin,  to help me learn chinese.  it was quite sweet of him.

he's still one creepy fucker though.

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