I've been in China for 16 days, and I still haven't taught any kids. I have, however, learned not to question things. People walk down the street clapping, patting themselves, spitting. Everything smells like meat. Everything tastes like meat. Apart from the meat, which tastes like fat and hair. People smoke everywhere. Like, EVERYWHERE. I was having a beer with Merte, the other English teacher at the school I'm working in, and I explained to her how I like to time going to the toilet so I'm there by myself "so I can get a cubicle, you know. A stall. I like my privacy.", only to find that there were no stalls, just two squat pans on the floor facing the urinals. No walls or partitions or anything, and a big clear window (not frosted, and on the ground floor) looking out onto the street. But to light a cigarette without cupping your hand around the lighter flame, or not accepting a business card with two hands - now that is dirty. I'm in a town called Tangshan, just outside Beijing. I say 'just outside' - it takes 2 hours from central Beijing to get here by bus. But you can be on a bus from central Beijing for an hour and a half and still not have left it because it is fucking massive. The school where I'm working (and also living) is also fucking massive. 3500 students, and the majority of them also live here. The alarm sounds at 6am, and at various times until the final alarm at 10pm. How the kids do it, I don't know. Soon I'll have to do it too. But my apartment is okay. A bedroom, a living room, a kitchen and a hallway. Thee living room is out of bounds at the moment - I caught sight of something with too many legs and too many eyes crawl in that direction, so I closed the door and haven't opened it since. The bathroom is like something from my nightmare - all bare pipes and filth, like the industrial zone from The Crystal Maze mixed with what I imagine a bathroom on a submarine to look like, but I bought shitloads of Doraemon toiletries and towels and flannels, and it makes it slightly more appealing. No more 45 minute showers for me though. Today I asssessed around twenty year 10 students, to see if they were good enough to start the new program I'm running. The majority of them were rubbish, but it doesn't matter - the parents are paying, so I'm teaching. One girl tried to sweeten me up by giggling and saying "Oh, teacher! You are very handsome." Nice try, bitch. 3/5 for you. Daddy's paying my wage, so cut the shit-talk. But it's 11:30pm, and I'm tired and need to sleep. Too much has happened for me to write everything. But hopefully now I've found a way past The Great Fire-Wall of China, posts will be more regular. The mugs in my apartment all feature a series of cartoon bears (a 'lovely sweet bear', apparently). My favourite one features the duff cunt on rollerblades, with the words 'Cutty Bear in Inline Club'. I think it's supposed to be Cutey Bear. I don't know for sure. Like I said, I've stopped questioning things.

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